Monday, 7 May 2012

Trust Issues

I’ll admit to being rather angry at the betrayal of trust and the twisting of words by people whom I consider friends. I rarely confide in others because I have learned how quickly people can take and manipulate your words and opinions to create a drama of epic proportions for their own benefit – or, apparently, amusement.

In this world is hard enough with all that life throws at us without feeling even more isolated because we don’t know who we can trust. Once again, I find myself feeling like half the people around me have a hidden agenda and that instead of being the open person I am and trusting them, I need to guard everything I say and keep my opinions to myself.

And damn that hurts. It takes a long time for me to trust people, and I don’t open up like I used to any more, and, apparently, this is with very good reason. And now I find that some people I have trusted and opened up to can’t be trusted, that they have their own purpose and that having ones’ own opinion is not something one is allowed to express, even to friends.

On some kind of base level, it appears that people do not have the integrity to know that saying things about others, even the opinions of others – be they true or false – is wrong. Ultimately this means that I have to now guard what I tell people, what I share with people, and what I allow people to know about me.

Sad when one feels the need to walk on eggshells around those one thought of as friends. And trust is one of those things that, rather like a vessel made of glass, once its integrity is compromised; it doesn’t hold much water for very long, no matter how much glue you add to the cracks to hold it together.
To say I am disappointed would be an understatement.

No comments:

Post a Comment